Balancing Career and Family A Mother-Daughter Perspective
Featuring Laila Howard and Rocki Howard
This week, I was so excited to have my oldest daughter join me on my live LinkedIn podcast, Grown Woman Wednesday. She helped me tell my dual working mom story, adding context and perspective.
I identify as she/her/black/Christian/GenX/wife and mom. I have been married to the love of my life for 31 years. We have four children. I am the founder of the Grown Woman Life platform. Chief Equity and Impact Officer at The Mom Project. I love creating more equitable workplace for all and powering the proud, purposeful and unapologetic careers for bold, brilliant, badass women.
When the finances didn't add up, and we felt we weren’t the best parents, we opted for a different solution. The decision wasn't easy and faced internal pressure from within the family, we had challenges adjusting. It was messy, but we absolutely made the best decision for our family.
As women, we often feel guilty about balancing work and family, but we need to understand that family is a collective effort, and everyone needs to play a part. One of the things that I've learned over the years is that we need to stop apologizing for our ambitions and embrace our inner badass. It's time for us to start unapologetically pursuing our goals and our dreams.
Having advocates and sponsors who can speak up for us when we are not in the room during important conversations is crucial. It was the support of an advocate that led to me being hired for my first director role, even when others assumed I wouldn't be interested.
Laila shared: My dad was able to soften up by taking on a more active parenting role and even being responsible for household tasks. There are benefits to men taking on more feminine roles as it can help break negative and toxic habits, develop better relationships with their children, and have a better understanding of their partner's role.
With the help of my daughter Laila, I had the opportunity to share my story as a dual-working mom.
I had a great time sharing this platform with my oldest daughter. We talked about how I had to make difficult decisions as a family. I discussed the importance of having advocates and sponsors at work and what it meant for my journey. My daughter, Laila, details how seeing her father become more active in parenting taught her the benefit of breaking gender norms.
Here are five insights from our conversation that I hope help you power your proud, purposeful and unapologetic career and life.
Don’t sacrifice your happiness for others: I decided to continue working as a mom after realizing staying at home was making me unhappy. Don’t let any external factors keep you from being happy in your career.
It’s okay to have help: I turned to my husband as the primary caregiver, and Laila shared how both of her parents wanted to teach their children about everything in the world. A support system can be critical in building a successful career.
Advocates are important: Having someone who can advocate for you and counter assumptions made about your qualifications, motivations, and circumstances in the workplace can help you achieve your goals.
Breaking gender norms is a good thing: If you want to be a stay-at-home dad or a dual working mom, do it. There is power in breaking gender norms and creating paths that work for you.
Focus on being proud, not perfect: Letting go of the idea of perfection can help women create a life they can be proud of. Embrace your unique qualities, values, and experiences and leverage them to define success on your own terms
Until next time, go live boldly, showcase your brilliance and be a badass.